What is the most important thing in your life? The most important thing in your life is not Money, not Fame, not Women. It is your happiness. It is the goal for all the human beings. Whether you are a believer or nonbeliever. Christian or Muslim. Eastern or Western,you are seeking your happiness. We are seeking money, fame and women thinking they will bring happiness to us. But they may or may not. To get real happiness, I think, we need go back to the as-old-as-mountain principles & practise them.
- Care About Others
In Buddhism, three deities represent Buddha’s Compassion, Wisdom and Power respectively. But why we always put the Deity of Compassion into the first position of seat arrangement in Tibetan Buddhism? Why Empires rise and fall? In Tibetan Buddhism, we always put the Deity of Compassion into the first position of seat because the deity represent the fundamental criteria to our happiness- compassion. Empires rise when they get in tune with people’s heart and fall when they get out of tune with people’s heart. Whether you call it Compassion, Love, Kindness, Affection, Helping people or Care about others, that is the most critical ingredient for our happiness.
To be happy, to love yourself & care about yourself alone is not enough. You need to care about others too. If you do not care about anybody but yourself, you are a foolish selfish & hurting your happiness. Why? Because you love yourself= one person’s effort to give happiness to you. But what if many people will put effort to give happiness to you? Then the situation is different. It is the smart way to be selfish. And it is in sync with our human nature. So, care about yourself as well as others. To care about others=Love yourself. If you care about other people, 1. It will make you happier. 2. Many people will care about you back. For example. It’s a fact that to get more followers in Social Media, the worst policy is to setup your profile & waiting people to follow you. And the best policy is to follow others by yourself at first after setting up your profile.Then many of them will follow you back. That will make you popular & more people will follow you organically later on.
So have empathy.Care about others. And help others as much as you can. But you needn’t go beyond your comfort zone. You can keep a balance. See more about this in point 7 below. Think ‘you’ as a part of people/community and not one person island. Listen, observe and understand the people around you. Sometimes all you have to do is just to understand the people around you. Enjoy with others. Involve with your community activities etc. All that will bring your warm hardheartedness out as a human being. All this will make you more happier. And it will touch other people’s hearts, too. Then you are no longer a stranger. People will think you as a friend or one of them. And they will be concerned about you. That means you are getting more popular. If you are in a situation, many people will give you a hand. In job hunting, your fame will give you an advantage. You may make more money than your peers. And you may get more women to date.
- Need to Make Effort There is a reason behind sayings like ‘Work is worship’ & ‘ God helps those who help themselves’. You need to make effort in your life. Love work. Do not be lazy. There is no fun/pleasure at all to be lazy. To be lazy is to go against our human evolution [Beware, we may get our tails back! ].We need to have something to do in our life. For instance, studying, job or a hobby. And the best way is to choose those activities you love to do. In that way you will be happier on the job, more effective and the results also would be much better. Whether we love or not, we have to work. So why not to love work? Love labor? So love work. Make effort in your life & work hard & play hard. See more about this in point 7 below. If you work hard, you may become successful in your endeavor or get promotions. And you may become more popular and make more money. In turn you will become more happier.
So have empathy.Care about others. And help others as much as you can. But you needn’t go beyond your comfort zone. You can keep a balance.
- Do or Act Wisely
Why we go to schools and colleges? What is the purpose of them? It is to make us do/act wisely in life. It is just to make our life easier. We are learning the tricks to live our life. So know the purpose/goal, and learn to do things easily, effectively and to act wisely in your life. If we do and act wisely in our life, it will save much labor, time and reduce discords between you and others.
So whenever you are doing something, look out to see if there is a more effective and easy way to do it. Whenever you are talking, think before to see if there is a more polite and effective way to talk. And so on. If you do and act wisely in a situation, you may become successful in your endeavor or get promotions. And you may become more popular and make more money. In turn you will become more happier.
- Love Yourself & Family
Whatever we do, we first start from individual self, then family, friends, community & country so on. So taking care of yourself and family are primary stages in our life.Love yourself. The Dalai Lama says ‘ If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others.’ Take care of your health. Not need to say health is the foundation of our life. Cherish your health. Abstain from things which make you addictive. Be your own master. And have control on yourself.
Love & support your family & especially your parents as it is a great sin for Confucius to neglect your parents. Do not neglect your parents. You can have no excuses for it.
- Interact with Friends
What is friendship? Friends are to share our aspirations, interests, success & failures etc. So involve with your close allies for close relationship. Whether you are happy or sad, succeeded or failed, share your feelings with your friends and involve with them. And they may give you sound feedback or advice.
- Respect the System
No matter what form of system it is, whether it is a personal or family system like rules & regulations or a social costume, tradition, organization, law & order or govt, respect it whether you believe in it or not. Why? Because it serves a social purpose and many people believe in it. It can’t be a system any more if nobody supports it. If you can’t live with a system, try to change it in proper ways like competitions, votes, elections or legislation etc. But when it is a system or became a system, we must respect it and live with it no matter what for the greater good of society.
In conclusion, you need two wings to be happy. And you can’t neglect any wing. Wing A promote you as a person. And Wing B, you can say, promote you as a professional. Wing A is to Care About Others. Wing B is 1. Need to make effort. 2.Do or Act wisely. 3. Love Yourself & Family. 4. Interact with Friends. 5. Respect the System. and 6. Keep a Balance.
- Keep a Balance
Carl Jung said ‘In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.’ There is some sort of balance in our life and nature. It’s important to keep those balance or harmony in our life. For instance, laws & freedom. Work & leisure. So to seek happiness in your life, you need to have empathy, care about and help others as much as you can. But you can keep a balance. You needn’t go beyond your comfort zone. When you practise to care about others, it will expand your comfort zone level in time. So you can help more and more people within your comfort zone later on.
We need to make effort in our life. We must have to work. Love work. Be a hardworking guy. But since life is for happiness & not for work, keep a balance between work and pleasure. As we have short & long term goals in work life, have short & long term pleasure goals too. Learn to enjoy & appreciate every moment of life. Do not forget the day to day happiness, in pursuit of our long term happiness. In brief, work hard, play hard.
Schools or colleges teach you on how to do/act wisely in life but you also need to develop your creative mind. So do not neglect the later. Keep a balance by having leanings from others + your own thinking or imagination. And whether you are thinking, observing, judging, listening or speaking, preview it in your mind for revision before you act on it. Watch out on extreme point of view.
Love yourself & family. But don’t go on extreme. Do not worship yourself. Do not be narcissistic. And give your family members some space. Help them to help themselves. Involve with your friends. Closely relate with them. But keep a balance. Don’t involve them with your every problem/issues. Try to solve most of them by your own. And give your friends some space.
Respect the system. Respect any system around you. But if you can’t do it or can’t live with it, try to amend or abolish it via proper channels like competitions, votes, elections or legislation etc. Otherwise, you need to respect it. Do not take extreme point of view. Think about others. Be happy.
In conclusion, you need two wings to be happy. And you can’t neglect any wing. Wing A promotes you as a person. And Wing B, you can say, promotes you as a professional. Wing A is to Care About Others. Wing B is 1. Need to make effort. 2.Do or Act wisely. 3. Love Yourself & Family. 4. Interact with Friends. 5. Respect the System. and 6. Keep a Balance.